I’m chatting to James about his heroin addiction and his recent spell in rehab; his fifth and longest stay. He relapsed three days ago after being home enjoying two weeks of clean time.
“I just can’t do it. As soon as I get some cash and I’m feeling down, I make a plan to use. I’m such a loser.”
James and the story are fictitious, but not unrealistic.
If I push into the story with ‘James’, he will tell me something like;
“I was never meant to be. I never knew my father and my mother was seventeen when I was born. It was a one-night stand, a mistake two teenagers made.”
This belief has haunted ‘James’ for years, giving him an excuse to use substances and poor behaviour patterns to numb the pain and feelings of shame and guilt.
I tell ‘James’ that he is not a mistake, he has simply made mistakes; in fact a lot of mistakes. Firstly, believing that he is a mistake. Then, thinking that heroin will solve his problems. Besides all the others that come as a result of his false beliefs.
There is a big difference between - being a mistake and making a mistake!
This human condition is rife all over the world and drives people to all kinds of poor behaviour and maladjusted coping mechanisms to deal with everyday life.
I did some research on doctor Google to find a few well-known people who never let their origin dictate their future. I found many but decided to reveal a few that were born out of wedlock. The earliest one comes from the bible.
As the scripture says - “There is nothing new under the sun.”
King Solomon was known as the wisest man that ever lived.
Leonardo de Vinci, the greatest artistic painter of all time -
Oprah Winfrey, the richest African American woman.
Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple computers.
I’m NOT saying you have to be famous to shake off the belief that you are a mistake.
What I AM saying is that you don’t have to let it hold you back. It is a false belief, like so many others we carry into our lives that cause us to make mistakes and poor choices.
You can escape from this lie.
A good start is to deal with the pain instead of avoiding it and trying to medicate it away.
It will never go away until you confront it.
Think about it this way.
If someone holding a gun and threatened to shoot you, could you medicate them away?